we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
