I'm gonna have a badass scar
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Randomize
