she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
