Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
