Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
