Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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