At least make sure they are 18
Why
You work out of a Hotel?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
