she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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