Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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