Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
