your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
