I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
