ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
