I want to stick my p in your. b.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize