I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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