I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize