Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
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