I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
