so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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