JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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