i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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