I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize