You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
