chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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