Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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