i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
