They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
