You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
