So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
