Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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