The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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