We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Randomize