he thought i was a dude.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize