My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
