You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
