make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
