Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
