I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
