They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
