Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
