ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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