apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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