if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Everything about him screamed your future.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
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