I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
