she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
