What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
