Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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