big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
