how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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