belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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