is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Randomize