The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
