Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
