Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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