when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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