Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize