I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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